Introduction

Working in special education means navigating behaviors that can challenge our comfort zones—but every behavior communicates something.

As a SPED substitute, I’ve noticed this particular behavior—public masturbation or genital touching—reoccurring in multiple classrooms, usually as kids hit puberty. Too often, it’s either ignored or unintentionally mishandled because staff are misguided and/or feel unsure how to respond. I wanted to write this piece to help provide understanding, guidance, language, and practical support the district does not—so that the majority, eventually the whole, address it properly, appropriately, and respectfully, protecting both students’ dignity, rights, and staff professionalism.

Many educators struggle to respond not because they don’t care, but because the system itself lacks proper, consistent, and effective training on how to approach sexualized or self-stimulatory behaviors in moderate to severe classrooms. Often, staff are left to navigate these situations without clear guidance, while parental preferences or discomfort can override or complicate evidence-based, policy-aligned approaches.

In many cases, I’ve heard staff express complete misunderstanding of how to respond. One teacher said they “didn’t mind” when a student engaged in the behavior, while a vetted assistant had been misguide to believe it couldn’t or shouldn’t be stopped because doing so might trigger aggression or backlash. These kinds of misconceptions and misunderstandings leave students unprotected, peers uncomfortable, and staff unsupported. In many classrooms, parents also expect staff to comply with misguided or avoidant approaches—often rooted in fear, denial, or cultural discomfort—rather than the consistent, developmentally appropriate, district aligned strategies students and staff truly need.

But when our responses are grounded in district policy and student rights, we have both the authority and responsibility to advocate for students’ safety, dignity, and development. Fear is understandable—systems often fail us, and it can feel AND actually be risky to speak up—but silence and avoidance serve no one. The goal is not punishment or compliance; it’s understanding, protection, and education.

While this topic can feel uncomfortable, it’s essential that we understand what this behavior means and how to respond consistently, compassionately, and in alignment with district policy and student rights.

Understanding the Behavior

For many students with autism or intellectual disabilities, self-stimulatory touching is not about sexual intent—it’s often about:

• Sensory regulation: Seeking pressure or calming sensations.

• Lack of social understanding: Not yet knowing what “private” means.

• Medical or hygiene discomfort: Irritation, rash, or tight clothing.

• Stress or boredom: Using familiar physical sensations to self-soothe.

When we reframe these moments as communication rather than misconduct, we open the door to teach appropriate, safe boundaries instead of responding with shame.

Responding in the Moment

Our response should model calm professionalism and protect student dignity.

Stay neutral.
Avoid scolding, startling, or reacting with disgust.

Set a clear boundary.
Use a brief, calm statement such as:

“That’s something for home, not at school.”
“Hands on your desk, please.”

Redirect and replace.
Offer a sensory alternative—fidget, weighted ball, hand task, or movement break.

Document and communicate.
Note the time, trigger, and your response. If you're unsure, stop, look, and listen. Ask other professionals for their insight on triggers. Inform the teacher, case carrier, or administrator so the team can address it through a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) or IEP goals focused on privacy and self-regulation.

Collaborating with Caregivers

This topic can feel awkward to discuss with families or caregivers, but open communication builds consistency between home and school. In reality, however, the collaboration required for this kind of sensitive issue often exceeds the time and compensation educators receive. Coordinating with families—especially in older students—following up, and maintaining consistency takes energy that many staff simply aren’t given space or support for—and that truth deserves to be acknowledged.

Adding to that challenge, some parents or caregivers may respond defensively or avoidantly, making the conversation even more difficult. Their reactions are often rooted in fear, cultural discomfort, or a lack of understanding about what developmentally appropriate, dignity-based guidance looks like. While those dynamics can complicate progress, they also highlight why professional communication and alignment with district policy are essential.

Even when time is short and conditions aren’t ideal, small steps toward shared understanding can make a lasting difference.

• Start from safety and dignity:
  “We noticed your child sometimes engages in self-stimulatory behavior at school. We want to help them learn when and where it’s appropriate, so they stay safe and comfortable.”

• Avoid moral language:
  Use words like private, body awareness, and boundaries rather than bad or inappropriate.

• Ask for insight:
  “Have you noticed similar behavior at home? Are there routines or supports that help them regulate?”

• Collaborate on solutions:
  Discuss comfort clothing, sensory supports, or scheduled breaks. Consistent messaging helps students learn privacy across settings.
  
  

Even when families resist or systems fail to prioritize collaboration, staff can still model calm, respectful, policy-aligned responses that protect student dignity and safety. Those everyday actions become quiet advocacy—creating the consistency and compassion the system too often overlooks.

Why It Matters—and What the Law Says

Ignoring these behaviors sends a message of indifference; overreacting sends a message of shame. The goal is neither.
The goal is to teach, model, protect, and preserve dignity—for the student, for peers, and for staff.

This is also a matter of policy and student rights:

• Under IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, students with disabilities are entitled to a Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) in a safe, respectful environment.

• California Education Code §§220 & 234 guarantee learning environments free from harassment or exposure to unsafe conduct.

• BUL-4827.3 – Alternative Curriculum Guidelines This one governs how LAUSD’s moderate-to-severe disability programs (often called Alternative Curriculum or “Alt Curr”) operate.
  It covers:

  1. Teaching adaptive, functional, and life skills.

  2. Embedding social-emotional and behavioral instruction into the curriculum.

  3. Providing individualized instruction aligned with IEP goals.

  4. Maintaining safe and respectful learning environments

     • This bulletin connects to your topic because it mandates that: Teachers in Alt Curr programs are responsible for teaching appropriate social behaviors, boundaries, and privacy awareness as part of adaptive skill development.

     • That means addressing sexualized or self-stimulatory behavior through instruction and support is part of the curriculum, not something to ignore or fear.

When staff calmly redirect, document, and communicate with the IEP team, they’re not just handling a behavior—they’re fulfilling a legal and ethical duty to uphold dignity, safety, and equal access to learning.

Reflection

Addressing public masturbation or self-stimulatory behavior in the classroom isn’t just about managing discomfort—it’s about redefining what support looks like. It asks educators to balance compassion with policy, and sensitivity with accountability. It calls for professionalism that protects students’ dignity, even when systems don’t fully protect ours.

We work in a field that often demands emotional labor beyond the hours or pay we’re given, and yet we continue to show up—with care, patience, and integrity. These moments, though challenging, are opportunities to model what dignity looks like in practice: calm redirection, honest documentation, and respectful collaboration.

When we respond with calm, we communicate safety.
When we document with accuracy, we uphold truth.
When we collaborate—despite limited time, support, or understanding—we build bridges that systems too often fail to provide.

Ultimately, addressing these behaviors is not about control; it’s about connection, education, and the quiet kind of advocacy that turns difficult moments into teachable ones—for both students and staff.

For guidance, consult your school psychologist, behavior specialist, or Division of Special Education. And always, listen to your gut and intuition. If you see something, say something. If a situation—or even a fellow staff member’s words or actions—doesn’t sit right with you, trust yourself. Seek clarification, ask for verification, and document what feels off. Professional environments are not exempt from accountability, and protecting students begins with honoring your own awareness.